24/12/2005

An Iraqi Christmas Carol

Once upon a time of all the good days in the year, upon a Christmas eve old Iraqi Roulette sat feeling as miserable as can be in a chilly room watching nerve wrecking elections results , where shameless politicians were rejoicing their preliminary victory.
It was cold, bleak biting weather , and midnight was approaching. Midnight is a dangerous hour in Baghdad even on one’s own house roof, but old Iraqi Roulette could not take any more and decided to wrap up and go out to the house roof, to meditate a bit and may be have a good cry . The sky was clear and there was a cold pinch in the air, winter has arrived at last . Although Iraqi Roulette loved winter it was also something to sob about this year, because the government decided to rise fuel prices out of the blue… mysteriously after elections. Iraqi Roulette looked at the black velvet sky, and was just beginning to calm down , when suddenly a sparkling star materialized in the dark horizon and … three figures descended from it , they flew towards the house roof in the noisy with bullets sounds neighbor hood. Old Iraqi Roulette had been a victim of vision and sound hallucinations before, specially when scared , yet as the figures came closer and closer , their was no mistake that they were three men , they all put one foot forward and landed on the small roof, using their cloaks as Para shoots . The first figure wore a black turban and was wrapped in a black cloak and had a colorless long beard , the second figure was the exact replica of the first yet in white , the third wore a black cassock and a large silver cross shone on his chest . The first thing that came to Old Iraqi Roulette’s mind was that either the holy mother of God is giving birth some where in the crummy neighborhood , or someone has finally flipped and gone completely mad . The three figures crouched around a fire they lit magically , and began to talk amicably :
- As I said brother, you are a sore losers . said the Black Turban .
- No, we are not! replied the White Turban irritably .
- Are too! (BT).
- Not, not, not, the whole country witnessed the boxes going in and out of election centers, decreasing or increasing votes as you please . (W.T)
- Ah , you just can’t take it can you , stepping off the throne is always hard .(B.T.)
- Look , every one knows you are not playing fair at all , Fatwas that can not be questioned , militias threatening voters, lists being torn at the place.. …and a ghost telling you how to live.. please it is the 21st century, grow up already!(W.T.)
- A aaaa now we have it, is all a sectarian matter to you , I tell you now and now again , once and for all; there is no difference, we are all the same , I mean we are all Shias. said Black Turban
- What about you father it seems as this all is none of your business, said White Turban looking at the figure with the cross.
- If it gets much worse we’ll be heading as usual to the USA or Canada or Australia . said The Cross bearer absent mindedly .
- Now, Now that is no solution, whenever the going gets tough you just jump over the fence. (B.T).
- We have always paid the price for your mistakes, and you are to many for us, why fight a lost battle. ( Cross Bearer)
- But you are actually the natives! you should put up a fight. (W.T)
- Ha Ha Ha I wont even bother to answer that one, ( Cross Bearer)
- Anyway mate you just have to sit and watch how we rule the nation for a change, said Black Turban.
- With whose army? our neighbor’s I suspect said White Turban .
- We don’t deny that some of our neighbors are more attractive to us than others.(B.T)
- Come on do you think that America has come all this way, spent that much money to hand it all over to people they spent decades plotting against .(W.T)
- Well, we all know that America is renowned for it’s rather short sighted strategies .Who knows may be they just had enough and they‘ll hand it all to us, declare it a victory for democracy and go back home , besides we were much more disciplined then you, our parts were much more safer than yours , they want stability we will give them stability and they wont care how we achieve that stability , besides my friend we are the majority.(B.T).
- Why forge the votes then if you are sure you are the majority? you are not, even among your own you are not the majority .(W.T)
- By the way, where is our friend from the north ? asked B.T.
- Oh, he is monitoring carefully developments ,to pick the right ally , the wining ally that is , answered W.T.
- What if America decides to line you with Iran, to hit you both eventually , I mean using you as an excuse to hit Iran - the Iraqi Roulette intervened suddenly forgetting the fear, since the subject was so interesting- hm hm ….what do you think is going to happen next do you think that they will choose another ally to back now , do you think they will force a re election ?, do you think they will loose their temper with the renewal of military actions in the west part again, and decide the whole thing is not worth it ? hm hm hm ... do you think they are pushing it towards a civil war or a war between militias at least, in order to divide Iraq? You know it is all part of the Zion’s dream, you know Israel from Euphrates to The Nile or the other way round as my paranoiac primary school teacher used to tell us ? hm hm hm … . The three wise men looked at the anxious mixed up Iraqi and decided to withdraw , they stood and ascended steadily up the dark starry sky . Iraqi Roulette chased them, and tried to climb the low fence of the roof , : Where are you going? you must answer please I’ve got work tomorrow and I am going crazy, I want to know what is next , what does this all mean..? the pleading voice little by little and desperately was silenced as the figures vanished .

Old Iraqi Roulette had no further intercourse with the Spirits of elections , but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle; to never ever watch news again, especially on Christmas eves .
God Bless Us, Every One!