Tuesday, November 29, 2005

The Trial

..” Please , allow me to speak , may I just clarify one thing, I did not sleep the other night cause I sat writing an appeal to you your honor …..” that is what he said ..
Please !!!! May I !!!! Was that really the brutal Dictator that terrorized us, and used to scare the living day lights out of me.
Yes, my friends Life is like a stormy sea one wave raises you so high you can almost touch the clouds ,while another wave plunges you down flat on your face.
I always used to believe firmly that to judge a person you have to know him when he was strong and triumphant , only then one shows his true colors , yet when defeated and weak , anyone becomes meek , vulnerable , even kind .
The next morning me and the gang at office were discussing the trial , one said
- why was the Judge so polite? why did he not exercise more authority in the court . The rest of us thought that the Judge was very civilized and impartial and that is how it should be actually : - Yes but that butcher showed no mercy to anyone when he was at the top .
- Well lets say that it is his good luck that he has such a trial : Yeh, he was always lucky and got away with anything ,including invading other countries ,using chemical weapons and turning everything he touched into ashes . Even now he is finding people defending him under the excuse that life has become even more rotten now.
Now that is lucky , minds are changing in his favor , many have already forgotten what used to happen then , having witnessed the horrors of the present . Any way we concluded our forum in the office , recalling when his brother Barzan was saying …His Excellency the president of Iraq .. ,most of us thought he was referring to his brother , but he continued …Mr. Jalal Talabani , Well well , his own brother has come to terms with it , so why don’t the rest.

Sunday, November 20, 2005


A logic axiom

Socrates is a Human being
Human beings are mortal
= Socrates is mortal

Saddam is Evil
Saddam is finished
= Evil is finished
Wrong ; refer to Abu Ghraib , Al Jadriea Shelter, phosphorous bombs in faluja etc…..

Let’s try again :

Saddam was a barbarian
The world was against him
= The world is not barbarian i.e. Civilized
Wrong again : refer to Abu Ghraib , Al Jadriea Shelter, phosphrous bombs in faluja etc…..

The conclusion :- Socrates was a dupe, human beings are beyond repair .

Correct the above mentioned axiom to :

…. It is the law of the Jungle Mowgli… (an axiom by Bagheera , another great philosopher )

…. Does one need to mention , that the horror shelters, the mysterious eerie houses, in which people enter, yet do not exit are back. The Houses of pain , Bone break Hotels are reopened upon persistent demand after proving that this is the only verified way to rule this ungrateful nation of half starving women and bare foot children and handicapped men from the countless recent wars … What !!! are you people still alive ?? Is there actually still a generation in Iraq that has not had it's dosage of concentration camps yet ?? Is there any one that accidentally has not enjoyed the exclusive services of “The world of Cables” previously , – “The World of Drills “ at the present -*??? . Sorry folks we led you to the illusion that it was over, and someone is actually here to help , we apologize sincerely , Well we are trying to correct this unforgivable error , we are even working overtime to make it up ….
……But, by the way who are we really ???

Conversation of the deaf :

Q. : Why were those tortured people found in that shelter and what do you know about it?
The Minister : First of all, I invite you all to go there and see for yourselves , the liars they said there were 170, while they were only 7 , and that place, it was only temporary the liars they claimed there are many of such houses .
Q . The question was not where or how much, it was WHY ? Why were there such cases?
The Minister : The people you saw were the worst terrorists ever …..
Q: the question is not who, it is WHY ….. Ohhhh just leave it .

I f you write about your fears , you are a pessimist , negative and destructive.
If you write ironically out of mere pain , you are numb sensed and are trying to make fun of the ailments of your fellow citizens.
If you are write optimistically and try to look at the bright side and the full half of the glass you are an idiot and you are fantasizing for the benefit of "you know who ….."

I agree that there is nothing to be optimistic about anymore, especially after the events of last week , A very wise man once said : a pessimist is a better informed optimist .

* Anyone who has been locked up at the time of Saddam talked about electrocuting and beating by thick cables , now bodies are found with pierced bones by drills, it is becoming nearly an autograph.

Saturday, November 05, 2005


Happy Eid every one !

Here it is again , The Eid , after a month of fasting and supplications for peace on earth, well if not on earth, just Iraq will be sufficient .
Although, things have been morbid long enough people are clenching on to a very fine end of something like hope to hang on to .
As many of you know, the Eid is a time for visiting, and visiting means lots and lots of political discussions . For a while now I’ve been as desperate as can be , I’ve been having nightmares of an autocratic religious semi Iranian government , I wake up in cold sweat yelling Noooooooooooo…… not the Mullas, please God almighty anything but that .
And I actually gave up .Well, not absolutely , but nearly .
The Second day of The Eid a dear dear friend of ours came with his family to visit, he is a prominent lawyer from Basrah . We all sat talking and exchanging the latest ,I have to mention;he is a chronicle optimist, an optimist beyond help and cure ……
He told us that Shias now, especially the intelligentsia have had enough , and they are not going to put up with any semi literate clergy men any more., he told us that Basrah has been actually converted to a small Islamic republic under the noses of the Brits , no woman even dares to go out without a proper scarf and robe, the colleges are play grounds for all sorts of fanatics, imposing their improvised rules that have actually nothing to do with religion, and Basrah now is also a center of drug smuggling from Iran to Iraq , Oil is also being smuggled peacefully and the benefactors are well known .
- So far there is nothing to be happy about. I said
– Apparently , but observe what is developing from all this : Najaf and Karbala are not better , Sistani has declared ( at last ) that he does not support any one, thus not repeating the drastic mistake he made last time supporting al Hakeem, Jafari ,Chalabi package, ,which obliged most Shias then to follow his advice or rather “decree” to be more accurate . Al Sader , unstable and disturbed as he is ,yet still enjoying popularity in the streets left Al Hakeem after the latter declared that he joined him . All that isolates the hard liners , and with all the mess they have been causing, with all the assassinations carried out by them , it will certainly cost them seats and ultimately the whole Government .
- But what if the votes are faked like during the referendum, I said
– Well we just have to hope not , it is the last chance or , else welcome the Spanish inquisition once more .
– In other words you fear the same things I do , you have the same information , but you are an optimist and I am a pessimist , am I missing some thing here? .
– I have still not lost faith and trust in the Iraqi intelligentsia , I believe it will prevail in the end .
I really needed that , I choose to live on that hope too.

Mister, Mister , Welcome to our neighborhood !

Before the Eid I was sitting in the office daydreaming , our office driver was hanging around chatting ,since the Boss of all bosses hadn’t arrived yet. A friend of his came in , And sat down in our room, after greeting us and introducing himself he started reproaching his mate :-
- You so and so, why the hell didn’t you call all the past week ,didn’t you bother to take interest where I got to ?
- I called, and your phone was locked each time , I thought you were abroad or something with your boss.
- Indeed I was ! I was in Paris you know.
- Were you? what did you get me ?
- I’ll get you killed , I was arrested for a whole week, that is where I was .
- Why didn’t your wife call me ? honestly I had no idea, Sorry.
I looked at him curiously , but I was too shy to ask him what had happened . I didn’t wait long he started telling us :
- I was out doors building my fence with a couple of workers , I live near Al Saidia , a dangerous place as you know . So, several American military vehicles were driving along our lane, a soldier was sticking out of one vehicle, he was standing up for some reason .A brick or stone hit him right in the forehead , believe me, he started bleeding immediately . And that was it ! . they came down with there translator :-
- Come on you lot , all of you , hands on heads and march . We tried to explain , the translator was on our side, trying to alleviate the situation . No use ,and off we went , arrested, the whole lane .
He continued :- They let the old men out in three days, but us middle aged men -he said laughing loudly - were kept for a whole week , and were released only after the Head of some sort of committee in our Area intervened . On the way home, we remember how the old men were shouting , and ranted :- whose kid was that any way ? , was it yours , or yours … a fact, which by the way remains an unsolved mystery till this day. We also carried out our own serious interrogation, with the children when we all got home, without any success , the kids were adamant not to give away any details .

One bit of crucial information : Iraqi children are gurus in hunting sparrows and pigeons, with a special devise called ( Gazwa or Musiada ), it is manufactured manually , using pieces of wood linked together to form a Y shape,and wrapped firmly with strips of black old rubber obtained from old torn car tires , then a strip of elastic rubber is tied at the two upper ends like a loop , an extra rectangle of leather is sowed or tied in the middle of that strip, where the stone is to go .The hunter I mean the child holds the weapon's base in one hand aiming it at the victim ,while pulling the loop like strip with the stone secured in the leather bit, as far as he can with the other hand , then snap… bang ….AAAAAH , Whose damn kid was that ? , , casualties vary from birds to stray cats or dogs, windows and recently soldiers…..
Note the same weapon was used in the ancient world !

Cinderella !

My friend who lives in Khadraa is living practically in the front , although the front is getting larger and larger every day. She told me that every now and then there is a raid to search houses for weapons after policemen or solders have been hit.
The other day while they were sitting watching TV , they heard explosions and machine guns shooting , the next thing they saw was about 10 guards in the front porch knocking on their window . They marched in shouting , her husband politely told them to go ahead ( as if it mattered what he said ) . The officer went up stairs and he was shouting back to the husband : By god if I find one, just one blank bullet on your roof I’ll wrap you and take you down to the station .He came down , the mother in law of my friend asked him to calm down and sit to have something to eat if he is not fasting he refused puffing and panting , and continued : Aunty, this neighborhood of your is nothing but trouble , we wouldn’t of come in if not for the evidence we found near you door step .
- What evidence son ?
- This -he said holding out proudly one slipper- this, we found in front of your door
- Of course, they ran from you leaving their slippers behind , no big deal , it is not as if it is ( Na’al Cinderella ) = Cinderella’s slipper .
The guards laughed and left.

Are these stories funny , or am I in a holyday spirit .
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