Monday, January 22, 2007


Don't you just love it when it's windy!
It is as if nature is suddenly all eventful and thrilled about something. With all those Cotton-wool clouds chasing each other playfully around a pale blue playground, all the trees chanting only for you as they perform their green dance, the wind caressing your face and running millions of loving invisible fingers through your hair ….
Well, that is how it should be! . Yet ,when I walked yesterday morning to the office , -the car did not arrive for some reason- , the picture was completely different from the one I described above.
Do you remember that unforgettable scene, when Dr. Zhivago and Lara were walking. The wind was blowing gently. Golden and bronze leaves were dancing at their feet, as if the film's theme music was actually orchestrating them as they swiveled in a ballet masterpiece, ha, do you? do you ? . Well, the scene, which I saw was absolutely nothing like that either.
Yesterday, it was a windy morning in Baghdad alright, yet instead of the multicolored leaves , thousands of shredded plastic bags , newspapers, rags , empty cans, plastic bottles , dirt and all sort of garbage items were flying all over my street.

The garbage car has not been coming to our area for several weeks now. The last time they came, they told us that our area is getting too dangerous, and it is getting harder for them to come and clear up the streets.
You know, that is what I really love about Iraq; Everyone is just as important as the other . The Minister and the garbage collector have the same problems ; both are subjected to political assassination! .
I kicked a black plastic bag, which tangled around my foot with disgust. As I marched along I saw a cat lying on the pavement , it did not move as I approached it , cause it was dead. What ?, they assassinated the cat too?. God almighty in heavens! Won't you do something about it already .
I decided before I went any further to give my boss a call, just incase it was not a working day, cause everything seemed suspiciously quiet , except for the far thuds I heard minutes ago. My Boss answered me yawing, apparently he was fast asleep. 'I am sorry to wake you up Ustath , do we go to the office today?'. 'Why isn't it a holiday? ,the first of Muharam? , anyway you can go back home if you want, I don't think I'll be able to come anyway, and if the rest call I'll tell them to go home too'.
Great!, now why didn't I get the brilliant idea to phone him before I went out? Only God knows. An intellect failure alarm echoed in the creepy street.

Everyone has been trying to keep a less active life style lately . If you can afford to stay home, just stay. The phrase ( New Security Plan ) makes everyone cringe .
The days are full of assassinations and car bombs, while the nights… yes, the nights , what can I tell you about the nights … You do not have to actually fall asleep to find yourself in the middle of a terrifying nightmare. Baghdad nights are nightmares as it is. Let me describe Baghdad nights ; they are so dark as if an evil spirit has spread out a measureless venomous black table cloth over the city, and sat down to feast on all the dead. And even when there is a full moon in the sky, it does not help to alleviate the darkness of these sinister nights. The moon usually emits a yellow ill light , or sometimes a full inflamed red moon middles the sky of Baghdad heralding a new massacre at the break of dawn .
Bullets shots sounds , explosions sounds , and dogs howls, compose Baghdad's lullaby, to which worn out bodies and minds fall asleep every night , not knowing and not caring if there will be a next morning .
For me night time is daunting, I am twice afraid after dark , I just can not help it, , it is illogical at all , I guess it is innate, I feel safer under the sun , in spite of, that all evils have been and are being committed under that same old sun for quite a while.

In clear nights when you can see trillions of tiny stars , I often ask myself a hypothetical question ; If all Iraqis, that have been killed, and all those Iraqis who are yet to be killed , were all killed at the exact same moment, and if all of them screamed at the same instant, would creatures from alien civilizations in far galaxies hear that scream, would little green men look down or up towards that small speck called earth and towards the even smaller speck called Baghdad and wonder; How could a place so small and in a period of time so irrelevant absorb so much pain? . Would they come up with an equation formulated especially for us like:
B = PA2 . where B is Baghdad , P is Pain and A is agony
In Baghdad Ala'a Al Deen gave up his dreams and left Jasmine to face her own destiny alone , the forty thieves have multiplied like cancer cells and killed Ali Baba and Qasim and dumped them on a deserted street , Hamaourabi caught a flight to Jordan leaving Mesopotamia behind with tears in his eyes. He decided to seek the secret of immortality elsewhere .

People are doing what each and every one can do . Those with a few extra dollars are getting out, those with no dollars to spare are facing their destiny with panic in some cases, and with courage or surrender in other cases.
The new security plan introduced itself with the bombing of Al Mustansirieh college, and that said it all for many . Reports say , that the Army will blockade parts of Baghdad in turn . In fact the siege of Adhamieh started this morning .
The other day I watched a program, where one clergy man was saying, that he foresees the invasion of Baghdad by Iranians, cause they have the needed recruits and arms inside the city , they just have to attack and the city will eventually fall like a ripe fruit in their hands. So, in other words this will actually be a fight for Baghdad between Iranians and pro Iranian Iraqis on one side and the Americans on the other, while Iraqis, I mean real Iraqis will be fighting for their city independently.
It is also believed widely that Iraq is going to be divided, and all this is a prelude for that . Whatever you decide to believe , it dose not change the fact that people are mostly pessimistic .

My friends ,who left earlier this year, are now in different parts of world, they call me and they ask me on regular basis : 'Aren't things a bit better ? we are really suffering here' .
To which I reply :
- Don't you people watch the news, can't you see what the hell is going on over here ?
To which they reply:
- Well, we were thinking that, you know… with the new security plan and all ..
To which I reply, "irately now" :
- What the hell .. , I mean I never understood those foreigners, not knowing what is going on in Baghdad , I mean how misinformed can one be for God's sake? , but then I excuse them , of course I do , they have better things to do in life than watching all the three seasons of Hell mouth /Iraq ; Hell mouth opened , Hell mouth reloaded, Hell mouth unplugged … and the peek trailer of Hell mouth forever . And why should they know?, I mean do I know what is going on in Timbuktu or Bangladesh .. But you lot , you have been here , and God with his boundless mercy and grace got you out in time, so…
To which they reply;
- It is no heaven over here too, we are strangers, east or west home is best.
To Which I reply in my "foreboding voice tone, which I use on special occasions" ;
- Listen to me , I am going to issue a statement here, read my lips -as George Bush senior used to say- ; I swear by everything and everyone I believe in ; Allah, his messengers and Angels, and also Kafka, Chekhov , Jean Paul Sartre, Bernard Shaw and Gromit. If you come back I'll throw you a welcoming party and kill you all one by one …
- Oh yeh, and how are you going to do that?, wear your best party explosive belt ?
- I'll come up with something . May be I'll just cook for you. Death disguises itself in many ways you know. Stay the hell where you are , believe me you'll thank me in ten years time . Toughen up and stop moping, and remember children; Alive is good, dead is no good.


Anonymous Solo said...

I gazed at the painting in the gallery. The lights were low, the only real illumination, on the paintings adorning the walls. This one drew my attention. Dark muted colors, a lone figure walking through the gloomy evening. Storm clouds filled the sky like smoke from a thousand fires. Wind lashed the trees, leaves danced insane piroets around the feet of the solitary figure. I looked closer, deep into the picture. The trees were gnarled hands, ready to grasp and tear, the leaves, anguished faces, screaming their pain. I was shaken to my very soul, but unable to tear my eyes away, wanting to run, but frozen in place by the vision. I wanted to reach into the painting, scattering the clouds so the sun could shine through again. I wanted to smash those grasping hands that threatened that lonely figure. I wanted to take the pain from the faces in the whirling leaves, but I couldn't. It was what the artist painted. It was what he felt, and wanted me to know. I slowly walked from the gallery, saddened. Outside the sun shone. It felt warm on my body and my soul, and I realized that even from darkness and gloom, if I can find the right door, if I can reach the sunlight, I can find happiness once again. Thereis always hope.

5:46 PM  
Anonymous at the discretion of the soul said...

Hell mouth...! -- you, IR, are the beautiful wisdom tooth in hell mouth. We count on you to stay strong.

6:53 PM  
Anonymous the iraqi roulette said...

My hopeful friend ,
I agree , hope is the last thing that dies , and the human soul is indestructible …
take care
god bless you

At the discretion of the soul
Thank you so much. Words like makes everything bearable.
take care

4:35 AM  
Anonymous Solo said...

Iraq needs to be rebuilt for sure, but it's it's the spirits of the Iraqi people that needs the most attention. How to give people hope? How to rebuild souls? I wish I had answers. It's something I think about every day. All I can do is work at it in my own small fragment of this world. At least now, with the internet, people from all over, have communication we've never had before. It's a step in the right direction. I look forward to the day when we can discuss the more mundane things in life. A simple statement by a guy on a forum after 9/11/01 has always stuck with me " I wish I could go back to being bored."

5:30 AM  
Anonymous wi7da 3iraqia said...

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11:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The enormity of what has happened to Iraq...the land of antiquity, the land of Mesopotamia, Ur and Babylon still numbs me.

An enitre country is being smashed, like china with a sledge hammer; its people disregarded like common flies.

It is sheer barbarism, and God help us all on this earth, I suspect it is the beginning of worse things to come.

2:10 AM  
Blogger cile said...

heya rouletta,
you're still cooking?

9:56 AM  
Anonymous the iraqi roulette said...

Cile ,
How are you? missed ya .
I only cook when I want to make a point ;-) . Come visit more often .

God help us all indeed .

9:34 AM  
Blogger cile said...

heya IR, yes, i have returned to read iraqi blogs again, after a bit of a miserable period, [i think i'll explain that sooner or later on the xer-files blog].
but, i see there's not so much activity in the iraqi blogiverse.
still, i hope you and the others won't give up!
i'll be returning to full activity by the end of this month i hope! so, i hope you'll be with me, and keep on writing and letting us know what's going on around, near, and with you.
i wish you all the bests!

7:03 AM  
Anonymous the iraqi roulette said...

Pal what's up? Come on, chin up and tell me all about it . Cause you got me worried .
So, what's is all about Cilie .
Now you have got me all worried about you, let me tell you a joke . There is this huge refugee camp, somewhere in Iraq ( you know there are a lot of those now for people who have been driven out of their homes) . So people were in there tents freezing , and along comes men in a pick up truck with a loud speaker calling the refugees to gather . When they did the men told them that some group has kidnapped ten members of the Iraqi government, and they are demanding donations, or else they will pour petrol on the members, and burn them all alive , 'so what do you people say about that?, the group is serious you know '
The refugees said 'of course we will donate. How many gallons of petrol do you need each family to donate?' .
Come on Cile cheer up, I have to go now the street generator is going off soon ;-)
Cheers take care

11:56 AM  
Anonymous roulette said...

Yes there is a big mess in the iraq.Every body is feeling not good anywhere.
Everyone is disappointed with their system.

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